Originally Written: 2/18/2011

I’m listening to “You Won’t Let Me Go” by Ray Charles. And I’m happy. I can’t stop smiling. I’m looking at the corner of my cubicle, surrounded by the artificial white light of my three desk lamps. And I’m filled with this…anxiety. This happiness that for these few short moments, I know I can’t suppress. It’s something unexplainable now and will be more unexplainable later so I should write it down to the best of my abilities. The softness of the background vocals coo as the idiosyncratic voice of Ray Charles chimes in: “I love you now/I said I love you/Whoa, with all my…heart and soul/So darling, well, if you love me/I know you won’t let me go/Well, you won’t let me go.” An impending storm looms and I’m excited for it. I feel like everything is going to be washed over. And made clean.

The Comic That Never Came to Be - "The Citizen"

PREMISE: Semi-dystopia in an alternate, not-too-distant future. A run-down café. A young reporter sees The Citizen, a superhero who retired long ago (he now goes by Vincent). She approaches him and asks him if he really is The Citizen. After an exchange, she finally chides him into admitting it. Here is the short ensuing conversation.

REPORTER: I knew it was you.

VINCENT: How?

REPORTER: There’s this air about you. I can tell. You were good. You are good. Like that man over there. There’s…not a good air about him. He’s not evil, but he’s – there’s something wrong with him.

VINCENT: In this world, there’s no such thing as a hero or a villain. Divisions do not exist. You talk how some people have this air about them? You can just tell whether they’re good or evil? There’s no air. It’s all just gray smog…that leaves you dirtier when you finally leave this Earth.

Fade to Black

This is my feel good day
Where I quietly pray
Good things for good people
And more love to everyone

Full of hatred and sadness
My black ball is now gone
Everything that’s all wrong
Fading to its blackness

An Anthem

Each person has their rhythm
I've always understood that
Some will shout, others hum
A personal anthem

Introspection leads to investigation
And I've come to a conclusion
That I have no rhythm
And thus, no anthem

No song that will lull me out of sleep
That will chase away the demons
That will catch me when I fall
When I'm searching for stars

But it's not worth it
Searching for a song that isn't yours
My anthem is out there
To be discovered
To be shouted or hummed
To become familiar
To be made
To be mine

Sometimes

This road is strange so strange it is
You know it really hurts inside sometimes
No matter how good you are to people you know
They'll make you cry sometimes

PCH - you are my winter solace during this winter solstice.